A time to weep and a time to laugh; A time to mourn and a time to dance.

Today I was thinking about friends who have been going through some devastating events in their lives. I, like many of you, have had some heart breaking things happen in my life, yes, even devastating things, things that gutted me to my core, things that hurt so badly that my heart physically was hurting.  When we go through those things, honestly there are people and friends I avoid because they are great to talk to about "it" but they always remind you how horrible whatever you are going through is... come on we all know those people. They mourn with those who mourn and weep with those who weep.. sometime I think the look for those who are weeping to make their own situations seem not as bad.  When you are done talking with them you feel worse.
  None of us have to go through what our friend may be going through to know how they feel. BUT, we have all gone through devastating things. There are things my friends have gone through that I look at and think .. man I would be gutted if that happened to me, I don't think I could ever handle that... and there are things that have happened to me that some might say the same things about. Their are degrees of devastating things but there are also degrees of how they may effect us... We've all had the thoughts when we see a friend going through what we have perceived as a little thing and they just can't function and think man it's just whatever this thing is... why an't they get over it??? or it happened so long ago, why can't they move on? We all have the different tools and abilities to cope in situations resulting in how we heal. But life continues.
  When many of us are struggling we wish we could go back to our "normal" life. The life we had before this tragic thing happened. Pondering "normal" this morning I was thinking about that idea of "normal" life. Events happen in our lives that change everything and I would want to never undo those events. Think about it. In the past few years my children graduated - my life changed, moved out - my life changed, married - my life changed and soon a grandchild will be arriving - my life will change. After each of these amazing things happened my "normal" life changed and I NEVER want to go back to that old normal life. So why do we want to go back to "normal" when bad things happen? I know because we didn't want those things to happen.  In these same years my mom and aunt passed away, I lost a job I loved, my son's marriage broke up and I faced a heart breaking moment when my birth mother refused to want to meet me.  I have done some grief counseling over the years and have explained what I've learned. When life hanging events happen.... life changes. What was once normal is no more and there is a new normal. (until a life changing events happens and then there is a new normal..... until a life changing thing happens and there is a new normal....until a life changing thing happens and there is a new normal get it? Life is always changing, if it wasn't that would be boring.
 So how do we handle it? Well the bible tells us that there is a time for everything, a time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance. While we may be in a mournful time.... sometimes there are still times to dance. When my son told me about a very difficult time in his life, I was hurting for him and losing sleep and hurting myself..... then that week my daughter told me I was going to be a grandmother.... I mourned and danced at the same time~!!! I gave myself permission to do both.  When we are mourning there should be no guilt when you dance or laugh. Those emotions are just as real as the weeping and mourning and DO NOT taking away from the life changing event that has hurt you to the core. The new normal changed your life but you see you're still alive and life continues around you. Do not misunderstand me. Mourn as much as you need to, cry as much as you need to, feel what you need to feel, they are valid feelings and need to be expressed. But.. remember to look up once in a while and see life around you.... laugh at funny things, dance to music. Live a new normal life. (until life changes and there is a new normal).
Psalm 3:3 says "But you oh LORD are a shield about me, my glory and the lifter of my head"
Look to our Heavenly Father and He will lift our head so we, in our pain, can see the times to dance and to laugh. And also to see those how mourn and weep so we can encourage them that they are not alone and can some day face their new normal and see the dance.